One step forward, a million steps back

Well well well, this is new. Actually posting something on my site in months, actually being well enough to be awake and actually feeling half alive. It is a case of one step forward a million steps back for me, as the last time I wrote (over 2 months ago) I thought I was on the mend. Wrong. Wrong. WRONG.

Sooooo, we are having a baby. Its not been the easiest pregnancy and emotionally and physically I have been through the ringer. For about 4 months I have been bed-ridden (still am), seen countless doctors, taken a billion pills and now call the bathroom my new home.  Morning (or in my case all-day-long) sickness is the work of the devil. I didn’t have much outside contact due to me being in such a state and mentally – that was torture.  In between then, I have been hospitalised, poked and prodded with needles and have had about 10 scans with very cold gel on my tummy. Yuck.

I have only this week been able to wake up and walk around myself – I still can’t do much and on bed rest, but hey – I’m getting better (I hope).  I now realise that I take for granted a whole lot of things – I haven’t been to the park to walk the dogs in months, not been out of the house (except to the Dr’s) and I haven’t eaten a decent meal without seeing it in the toilet bowl a while later.

Over the course of 4 months, I’ve lost so much weight that I now have to try and make up for it but scoffing down milkshakes – believe it or not, the Dr recommended this. I’m trying to eat – but I’m not there yet. Everyone says this is a joyous time – ermmm, NO. Not for me anyway. Not yet. I’ll let you know when things change. On a great note, Cous Cous (baby’s nickname) is having a jolly ol’ time in my belly so I’m at least grateful for that.

I will have a new baby category up soon, as I don’t think everyone wants to read about a leaky boob or baby poo all the time when it starts. And no, I won’t be going goo-goo ga-ga all the time (50% of the time maybe!) Haha. This impending motherhood thing is still new to me, and I haven’t had any time to really sit and comprehend it all. Its a whole new ball game and it will be very interesting I’m sure. 2014 is going to be very different.

For now, I have to eat a kit kat and drink some milk (very hard work but someone’s got to do it!). I promise I will try and write everyday – or at least every other day (unless I’m dead).  Whomever said pregnancy was easy deserves a slap and a half from me. 🙂

On the brighter side, its only 67 days to Christmas. Deck the halls people!

Happy Friday everyone!


2 thoughts on “One step forward, a million steps back

  1. Tiffany Jade

    You poor thing! But big congratulations. I suffered with “morning” sickness both pregnancies and I know how horrid it is. I lost weight too. Really horrid cos you worry about your baby soo much. Aww I hope it gets easier for you and that you’re being looked after xx

  2. Lisa

    Oh God you poor thing. I’ve been there and have so much sympathy. I was really poorly with the dreaded sickness when pregnant with my son. The anti-emetics the doctor gave me took the edge off it by about 18 weeks in, and then I could do stuff like leave the house (but only if I had a massive stash of Jaffa Cakes in my bag as eating them every time I felt nauseous was the only thing that helped) but the time before that was a write-off. I genuinely felt like I was being poisoned and at the worst point I considered aborting my very much wanted baby because I felt like I couldn’t take any more. I still felt sick as a dog on the day I gave birth to him, but the nausea went away completely within hours of him coming out. It was amazing.

    My only advice is to get out in the fresh air every day. Even if you can’t walk, just sit on your front step or stand int the garden or walk to the top of your road and back or something. Also, if you suddenly fancy a certain food (even though I felt AWFUL, I would suddenly, after retching my guts up, get an intense craving for something weird like cottage cheese), eat it, because if you’re craving it, it’s less likely to come back up again. And keep your stomach as full as you possibly can really hard, I know), because the nausea is far worse when you’re hungry. This is called sods law.

    Really hope you feel better soon. x

    Lisa @


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