Pregnancy is fun – having a whale of a time!

Well Well Well. Happy 2014! OK, I am 36 days overdue with the wishing, but I’m the size of a mini whale and having to pee every 15 minutes, so you will forgive me. It feels (and is) ages since I last wrote a post, and that’s down to me still not being well. I’ve only just started going back into the office and apart from working from home, have not done much else. Pregnancy is FUN.

I never really thought about what it would be like if I got pregnant (too late now Kim), but I certainly thought it would be easier. Ok, not all roses and chocolates, but the roses at least! I’ve just got thorns at the moment!  Throughout the years I’ve been alive, I’ve known a fair few friends who have had babies and none of them moaned or was quite as sick as me – different bodies I hear you say. Yes, by now I know this (I’m not a total idiot), however, it does not make it any easier to go through. I also think the mere thought that the baby is going to burst out of my stomach in true alien fashion (brilliant film by the way) scares the shit out of me. It doesn’t help that the other half thinks (and says this to me) as well, all while he has a goofy smile on (what a goon).

Loads of people have asked me my cravings as apparently you tend to develop a fair few – I have none. Yet another thing that makes me wonder if I am normal at all. I have no back pain (this is not a wish of mine so Gods of pregnancy back pain, that is NOT a request, merely a statement) so I am grateful for that. I tell you what’s really improved – my skin. Yes, the bane of my life, the thing I’m trying to constantly improve on, has suddenly decided to behave herself. I haven’t washed my face with anything but water and (shock horror) have rarely broken out (God of good skin, please take that as a compliment and not as a taunt).  That’s about all that’s gone right in this pregnancy.

Here’s what they don’t tell you in pregnancy:

  • Morning sickness can also be known as anytime-it-likes sickness. It knows no time and feels no pity for your throat. When the Dr tells you that its most likely to last only up to week 12, take it with a pinch of salt – I’m 30 weeks and still throwing up. Fun times.
  • You might not enjoy being pregnant. I still don’t. Why? Because I’ve been horribly sick, been to hospital on drips, poked, prodded and pricked by countless needles. Its ok to feel like this – not everyone enjoys it. It’s hard to see other pregnant women share their joys, their scan pictures, their shiny new breast pumps with other soon-to-be mums, but when all you see is the toilet and midwifes and Dr’s, its ok to feel you just want to punch someone (just please don’t do it- you can imagine it).
  • Weeing up to 20 times a day is normal. Yes – believe it or not – if I’m not in the toilet throwing up, I’m in there for a wee. All. The. Time.
  • Taking bloods while anaemic like I am can cause severe blackouts and result in you falling over and hitting your head on the floor. Yes – this happened to me last week.  Again, fun fun fun times!
  • You will feel so tired that for a long time, you won’t be able to do much and feel like a lazy cow. I still don’t do much and feel terrible for it. Yes – my Christmas decorations are still in a box in the living room waiting to be brought up to the attic (I am contemplating if I should leave it there for ease of putting up for this year?!)
  • Babies cost a shit load of money and there is so much advice on which monitor, which bum wipes, cotton vs muslin towels, manual vs electric breast pumps, that you will one day just shout ‘arghh I give up, baby can come home in a Tesco reusable bag and everything else will fall into place’. Don’t fret, you will calm down and buy some stuff in the end (cue overbuying).

Don’t get me wrong – I am happy to be having a little baby – I’m just not as excited as so many others. Don’t feel bad about this either, if you’ve been as sick as me, no one will judge you (well they will but in their heads!) Its nerve-wrecking to be honest. I’ve just watched a video on a lady who has packed her maternity bag and don’t know whether I’m going to laugh or cry – she even had a file with laminated birth plans for easy access! We are so unprepared (another word for screwed). Someone asked me if I had a nursery prepared – I laughed, why? because if I told her we had nothing prepared I would have looked like an absolute goon. I replied ‘we have a cot and stuff’. I love the word stuff – it’s so dubious that no one really knows what it means.  I’m sure we’ll get there in the end, we always do.  Well, we kind of have to. 🙂

P/S: Please don’t think this is going to be a baby blog just because the last few posts have been on babies, I plan to go back to my usual writing soon I promise. I have BIG plans for this blog (bigger than my whale-stomach) 2014 is going to prove to be a very interesting year.  And yes, I will still be making cakes and jotting my recipes down – it’s just I haven’t really been in the kitchen much over these 6 months. Something about being sick all the time has put me off food for a while!

PP/S: As I finish writing this post, I feel a slight twinge in my back. Why oh why do I constantly open my big mouth and put my (now swollen) feet in it??!!

Love always,


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